December 2012 I remember well. It was supposed to be the end of the world! It seemed as though everyone was so caught up in the Mayan Calendar coming to an end, and the world was in panic. Much of the world was in panic, but not all of the world. It was the same on New Year’s Eve 1999 right before midnight when the world was on edge thinking the end had arrived as we stretched into a new millennium. I remember I was hunkered down in Grandma Margaret’s bed watching the ball drop on TV in New York. I was praying and holding on to mama as she slept anticipating that the lights would be going off just any second! No, the world didn’t end in 2000, 2012, or even now in 2014. However, for one woman, her life did end in 2012. It was my Grandma Margaret.
They say time heals all wounds, but it’s been 1.5 years and it’s not gotten any easier. I still plainly remember each and every detail of those two weeks I spent in West Virginia that Christmas. Christmas is the time when you’re supposed to celebrate the birth and life of Christ and spend time with family, not be burying family! Christmas 2012 was the worst Christmas I have ever had the displeasure of experiencing! It’s amazing how one woman, my Grandma, could have such an impact on so many people’s lives! I still find it hard to speak of her to friends. It’s mind blowing the number of times I’ve been riding down the road and I grab my phone to call her, and I’m dialing her number, then I hang up because I remember she’s gone. How can time heal all wounds when they’re trapped inside my head like a bad dream that won’t go away? I can’t even see her picture in a stack of papers without feeling like I did the day I received the news of her passing. My stomach gets upset and I begin to feel weak like I’m going to pass out. Why does death have to be so hard? It seems to have this crippling effect on me. Oh what I’d give just to be able to hold her one more time. What I’d give if I could just call her up on the phone even if just for a minute!
They say time heals all wounds, but the question I keep finding myself asking is how much time?